I don't understand why caskets cost so much money. When I die, I really hope (& I am not joking when I say this) that my loved ones respect my wishes. I don't know what those wishes are precisely, but I do know that if I decide to go with being buried, I want to be shoved into the smallest, cheapest possible box that I could be legally put into, not shown to my loved ones after my death or embalmed.. I just want people to be able to remember me for my life, at its best too.
And if there's a service for me, or a memorial or whatever, I want it to be quite informal. Preferably with alcohol. I want smiles and happiness. I want people to be happy about whatever I did in my life, not unhappy about my leaving (because hopefully I get to go somewhere great after I depart this existence).
So anyway, a friend of mine's mom died this past Friday at 11:30PM. I didn't get to meet her, and I've only known my friend for a few months. Although we've texted quite a bit, we've hung out once. However, when he found out how sick his mom really was, I did meet up with him to do a favor.. and then Friday we hung out. I'm honestly not sure if I have chemistry with him, but I can tell you that he is a very good person.
So, tomorrow I'm going to his mother's funeral, to show my respect and support. I just know he likes likes me, and I am definitely not ready for a relationship. I cannot do it, it wouldn't be ok for whatever man I ended up with, or to me. I have far too much emotional baggage.
Anyway, what a weird past few days...
