Ode to Jeremy

this was too great for me not to put in a blog. and a bulletin. and a photo comment. it's awesome. i don't know what made me think of this, i wasn't even consciously aware of knowing what eddie vedder looks like. hehehehehe! 

the first picture is of my cousin. the second is Eddie Vedder. i think the song "Jeremy" must have been written for my cousin. 

Lyrics I Cannot Stop Hearing Lately...

By Bob-

Most of the time
I'm clear focused all around
Most of the time
I can keep both feet on the ground
I can follow the path
I can read the sign
Stay right with it when the road unwinds
I can handle whatever
I stumble upon
I don't even notice she's gone
Most of the time.

Most of the time it's well understood
Most of the time I wouldn't
change it if I could
I can make it all match up
I can hold my own
I can deal with the situation
right down to the bone
I can survive and I can endure
And I don't even think about her
Most of the time.

Most of the time my head is on straight
Most of the time I'm strong enough not to hate
I don't build up illusion 'til it makes me sick
I ain't afraid of confusion no matter how thick
I can smile in the face of mankind
Don't even remember what her
lips felt like on mine
Most of the time.

Most of the time she ain't even in my mind
I wouldn't know her if I saw her
She's that far behind
Most of the time I can even be sure
If she was ever with me
Or if I was ever with her
Most of the time I'm halfway content
Most of the time I know exactly where it went
I don't cheat on myself I don't run and hide
Hide from the feelings that are buried inside
I don't compromise and I don't pretend
I don't even care if I ever see her again
Most of the time.
Most of the time
I'm clear focused all around
Most of the time
I can keep both feet on the ground
I can follow the path
I can read the sign
Stay right with it when the road unwinds
I can handle whatever
I stumble upon
I don't even notice she's gone
Most of the time.

Most of the time it's well understood
Most of the time I wouldn't
change it if I could
I can make it all match up
I can hold my own
I can deal with the situation
right down to the bone
I can survive and I can endure
And I don't even think about her
Most of the time.

Most of the time my head is on straight
Most of the time I'm strong enough not to hate
I don't build up illusion 'til it makes me sick
I ain't afraid of confusion no matter how thick
I can smile in the face of mankind
Don't even remember what her
lips felt like on mine
Most of the time.

Most of the time she ain't even in my mind
I wouldn't know her if I saw her
She's that far behind
Most of the time I can even be sure
If she was ever with me
Or if I was ever with her
Most of the time I'm halfway content
Most of the time I know exactly where it went
I don't cheat on myself I don't run and hide
Hide from the feelings that are buried inside
I don't compromise and I don't pretend
I don't even care if I ever see her again
Most of the time.

By Ani-

the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean
is grey. i feel right at home in this stunning
monochrome, alone in my way. i smoke and i drink
and every time i blink i have a tiny dream. but as
bad as i am i'm proud of the fact that i'm worse
than i seem. what kind of paradise am i looking
for? i've got everything i want and still i want
more. maybe some tiny shiny thing will wash up on
the shore. you walk through my walls like a ghost
on tv. you penetrate me and my little pink heart
is on its little brown raft floating out to sea.
and what can i say but i'm wired this way and
you're wired to me, and what can i do but wallow
in you unintentionally? what kind of paradise am i
looking for? i've got everything i want and still
i want more. maybe some tiny shiny key will wash
up on the shore. regretfully, i guess i've got
three simple things to say. why me? why this now?
why this way? overtone's ringing, undertow's
pulling away under a sky that is grey on sand that
is grey by an ocean that's grey. what kind of
paradise am i looking for? i've got everything i
want and still i want more. maybe some tiny shiny
key will wash up on the shore.

Goin Green in Easy Ways

As those of you who've known me for years and years prolly recall, I was quite the lil "save the earth" "love your mother" "hug a tree" kinda gal. Life's been so crazy here I've lost track, but I am getting back on course and am starting to make small changes that will make an impact. And I feel really good when I do it, too. I've begun taking re-usable bags to the grocery. It takes as much gas to drive a car one mile as it does to make 14 plastic bags! That's crazy.
Try calling your trash provider to see if they offer recycling. I called mine today to inquire and found out they'll loan me a bin and p/u for *free*. I coulda been doing this for months. I feel like an ass.
When SPRING comes, air dry your laundry. You can even put it in the dryer when it's done for a few seconds to fluff it up so it's not funky feelin from air drying. This still uses WAAAAY less energy.
When you can, use chemical free stuff. It's expensive so I cannot always comply... but I do whenever I have a few extra dollars to spend.
Check out your produce! Some of it comes from distant parts of the world! It's more important to eat organic if it's an item that's known to be high in pesticides, other than that, buy local. It's not helping to buy organic tomatoes from, say, Chile. It's also cool to help local farmers.
Compost, compost, compost. It's as simple as setting up a spot, making sure you know what not to throw in it, and using a tarp or something as a cover. It doesn't have to be elaborate. Look it up, it's easy. Once it's done, if you're not into gardening, sell or donate that nutrient-rich soil to someone who will use it.

Make saving our planet a part of your daily life with easy changes. Start today with help from these resources.

~Activism~

American Forests
The average person is responsible for emitting 94 pounds of carbon dioxide every day. It takes four trees, which act as natural air filters, to offset the carbon dioxide each person generates in a month. For each dollar donated, American Forests plants a tree. For more information and to plant trees, visit www.americanforests.org.

Earth 911
Find information about environmental services and events in your community, visit www.earth911.org.

Engines Off
Lynn Romanek from Glencoe, Illinois, has organized parents at her childrens' school to turn off their cars instead of idling in the parking lot. Idling 10 minutes less per day can keep 550 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the air every year. For more information visit www.enginesoff.org.

Greendimes
A group that reduces junk mail and plants trees. For more information or to sign up, visit www.greendimes.com.

Treehugger
For ideas on green living, visit www.treehugger.com.

Stop Global Warming Tour
Learn more about Sheryl Crow and Laurie David's tour and what you can do to find solutions for global warming. Visit www.stopglobalwarming.org for more information.

The Green
Simran Sethi hosts The Green on the Sundance Channel. Visit www.sundancechannel.com/thegreen for more information.

The Green Book by Elizabeth Rogers and Thomas Kostigen
Simple things you can do to save the planet. Find more at www.readthegreenbook.com.

Shopping and Cleaning
Ecobags
Bringing your own bag when shopping saves plastic bags. Visit www.ecobags.com.

Method Home
Method offers some cleaners that are dye- and perfume-free, nontoxic, biodegradable, naturally derived and never tested on animals. For more information, visit www.methodhome.com.

Mrs. Meyers cleaning supplies
All of their cleaning supplies are made with natural essential oils, are biodegradable and phosphate-free. For more, visit www.mrsmeyers.com.

Seventh Generation products
Seventh Generation is one of the leading brands of nontoxic household products. For more information, visit www.seventhgeneration.com.

Shaklee
This company has been producing natural cleaning products—everything from dryer sheets to stain removers—for 50 years. Call 800-670-6251 or visit www.shaklee.com to save 33 percent on the Shaklee Healthy Home pack and 15 percent off all other items at Shaklee.

Energy

BITS Ltd. smart power strips
Even after turning off a computer, power continues to flow to computer peripherals like printers and scanners. This power strip ($32.99) stops the energy from being wasted. For more information visit www.bitsltd.net.

Carbonfund.org and Terrapass
If your local utility company doesn't offer green power, you can reduce the environmental impact by purchasing offsets. In this system, you give money to companies like Carbonfund.org or Terrapass, which use it to develop renewable energy sources. For more on purchasing power offsets, visit www.carbonfund.org or www.terrapass.com.

Duke Energy
Duke Energy provided energy efficiency starter kits for audience members. The kits are available to their customers in Indiana and Kentucky who qualify for in-home energy audits. For additional information visit www.duke-energy.com. Check with your local energy company for similar ways to save energy.

GE Energy Smart lightbulbs
GE Energy Smart bulbs use 70 to 75 percent less energy than incandescent lightbulbs and last up to 10 times longer than incandescent bulbs. For example, by using a 26-watt compact fluorescent lightbulb—equivalent to a 100-watt incandescent lightbulb—users can save up to $59 on energy costs over the life of the bulb. Saving energy saves money and is better for the environment.

Water bottles

Nalgene water bottles
These water bottles are durable, inexpensive, can be used repeatedly and are widely recyclable. For more information visit www.nalgene-outdoor.com.

New Wave Enviro Products
Corn-resin bottle with filter ($8.99) provides pure, clean drinking water and can be reused up to 90 times, and the bottle biodegrades in just 80 days. For more information visit www.newwaveenviro.com or call 800-592-8371.

SIGG water bottles
Using a premium reusable bottle like SIGG greatly helps reduce unnecessary environmental waste caused by plastic PET water bottles. Get more information at mysigg.com.

Grocery store
During 1 trip, you make hundreds of decisions that can have real environmental impacts. With just a few easy changes, you can make a positive difference in the world.

~Instead of regular aluminum foil or plastic wrap, purchase recycled aluminum foil.
It uses just 1/20th of the energy needed to produce regular foil.

~Look for items without extensive packaging.
Most food packaging material uses some petroleum-based plastic. There are several ways to cut down on the energy and waste this produces. Look for minimally or unpackaged items instead. Experiment with bringing your own packaging or buying in bulk. Purchase brands that use bio-based instead of petroleum-based plastic. Recycle or reuse packaging materials you end up having to buy.

~Bring a cloth bag to the grocery store instead of using its plastic bags.
An estimated 500 billion to 1 trillion plastic bags are consumed worldwide each year. That's 1 million bags used per minute. And, according to the EPA, more than 380 billion of those are discarded in the U.S. Less than 1 percent of those are actually recycled. Instead, these bags will clog landfills, create litter, choke streams and harm marine wildlife, like whales, seals and sea turtles.

~Buy local and organic.
Buying seasonal, locally produced food helps in a number of ways. Most food travels 1,500 miles from "farm to fork." But buying local food drastically reduces the energy spent on food shipping. Local goods also tend to use minimal packaging, are fresher and come in more varieties. The best way to track down local food is at your local farmers markets or through the Community Supported Agriculture department. Farmers who grow produce organically use less fossil fuel and release fewer greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. Organic farming is better for the land, for the farmers, and for the consumers.

Freecyle, Yo

Remember how I posted that neato community poster? Freecycle is a good place to start. I've been doing it for a few years now and have had so many pos. experiences I thought I may paste some of a moderator's comments and lovely explanation of the process. It's really quite cool.

To check it out for yourself, go here: www.freecycle.org and type in your city. Super worth it, I shit you not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**WHAT IS FREECYCLE(TM) ABOUT?**

FIRST, WHAT IT "ISN'T" ABOUT

Freecycle is NOT about giving only to the poor.
It is NOT about getting as much free stuff as we can.
It is NOT about getting things to earn money on the side.
It is NOT about getting rid of junk that would be better off in the
landfill.
It is NOT about posting a "wish list" for expensive items and
expecting a fairy godmother to fulfill it for us.
It is NOT a community bulletin board for finding rentals, dentists,
mechanics, or advertising our businesses and services or special
events.

WHAT FREECYCLE "IS" ABOUT

Freecycle IS about keeping things out of the landfill.
It IS about giving away something that has no use in our life anymore
to someone who could extend its usefulness a little longer.
It IS about giving gifts to people while clearing out our own clutter.
It IS about creating, building, and sustaining an environmentally
aware community.

OFFERING ITEMS WE NO LONGER NEED TO THOSE WHO NEED THEM

When we post an OFFER, we're offering to give someone a gift. It is
up to us to give this gift to whomever we feel would be the best
recipient. We're not obligated to give our gift to someone who is
rich, poor, single, married, has no kids, has 1 kid, has 15 kids, has
a car, doesn't have a car, or has a purple octopus named George
living in their backyard. We can choose the most polite,
the rudest, the funniest, or the shortest response to receive our
gift. We can put their names in a hat and do a draw, or we can wave
our magic fingers over our screens and pick one that way. We can
choose the first, 3rd, or 53rd respondent. We can wait 24 hours and
then decide. It is up to us.

LETTING OTHER PEOPLE KNOW WHAT WE NEED

When we post a WANTED message, or respond to an offer, we're
requesting a gift. The odds are that no one on this list will be able
to give us what we're asking for. But sometimes somebody will see a
WANTED for a bowling ball and go "AHA! I have one in my closet!"
But, you know what? Just because we're rich, poor, single, married,
have no kids, have 1 kid, have 15 kids, have a car, don't have a car,
or have a purple octopus named George living in our backyard, does
not mean we're more worthy of receiving a gift from a fellow
Freecycle member than the average person living down the street.

Sending emails that don't say "please" or "thank you" are a way to
not receive an item. Sending emails with nasty comments in them are
one way to find ourselves in a bit of trouble.

HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN FREECYCLE

When you want to find a new home for something -- whether it's a
chair, a fax machine, piano, or an old door -- you simply send an
e-mail offering it to members of your Freecycle group.

Or, maybe you're looking to acquire something yourself. Simply respond
to a member's offer, and you just might get it. After that, it's up to
the giver to decide who receives the gift and to set up a pickup time
for passing on the treasure. You can even post a Wanted message
to the group because somebody might have just the exact thing you
really need stored away in a closet.

One main rule: Everything posted must be free, legal, and appropriate
for all ages.

YOU'RE BUILDING A COMMUNITY BY PARTICIPATING

We're part of a community. In every community, there are people who
don't get along. And in most communities, when two people don't get
along, they just avoid each other. To do that on Freecycle, all you
have to do is set up a filter to send any email from someone you
don't want to hear from straight into your trash bin. If you need
help with that, let the moderators know and they can help you.

So, just remember: If you're offering a gift, it's up to you to
decide who gets it.

And if you're requesting a gift... well, be patient. Your turn will
come eventually, but if you're not careful your name could end up on
a 'will not give to' list. You may want to try making an OFFER
to the list, just to see how the process works. Look in your closet
or in that box you haven't unpacked since you moved in two years
ago. Prime stuff for Freecycle!

She Was a Friend of Mine: Kirsten Kryszak.

oh, kirsten. last time i saw her was right after christmas at the young ave deli, 1999. i'd just had maya a bit over a month before and was there with josh. she said "congratulations, mama" in that happy voice. i still have the terrapin turtle ring that she gave me from iguana coast, josh lost at a drum circle in montana, and then convinced her to give him her's as a replacement... i still wear that silly ring.

i remember them all leavin from my yard in tully's bus for the gathering. she'd spent 40 bucks on victoria's secret underwear which was hilarious, since that's so not a camping neccessity. we laughed about that. i remember we were all as careless in those days. i was definitely as trusting as she was. if something bad happened to her, it's amazing to think that nothing bad happened to the people she knew, people like me... a buncha kids with the same issues and troubles, with the same zest for life and illegalities and hippie shit. so many nights she sat in josh's room with us, laughing in that ditsy way that made us smile. she was so pretty, and so full of life...

approximately one week after i saw her at the deli, she was gone. i found out at the pancake shop on summer ave one morning when i was eating with josh. her face was on a flyer. we were freaked out, but we knew she was just becoming old enough to travel freely, we knew how stifling our hometown was... we thought maybe she was just on the road, but there was a bad feeling behind it.

she never came back. traci told me this past new year's about the article, tonite i stumbled across it. poignantly written, it pangs my heart. i lay here in bed next to my slumbering newborn son, thinking of the seven years that have passed and how much growing i've done, and how life can be shitty but i am so grateful for it... and i wonder whatever happened to this naive girl. her soc security number hasn't been used. there's no proof she's dead, though. it kind of leaves a hole...

this is the story: Gone Without a Trace
here's some more media on it:  Conflicting Stories
                                           Cold Case Heating Up