31 May 2007

so many days.. so many days

my sweetie pie left jackson hole just a bit ago. he's on his way to kentucky. i am tryin to be patient as i wait for the cornbread and white beans to be done, so i can have a healthy-ish bite before i go to work. this pregnancy is going to make my ass huger than it has ever been. teensy baby demands chocolate, and lots of it, and i am not even big on chocolate. milkshakes... mmm. i have been cravin milkshakes and pb&j sandwiches.

work is such an odd place. now that i'm a perma-employee, i am not supposed to transfer for 6 whole months. that's a long time. i don't know if i can wait that long to leave memphris. there is so much hilarity in the corporate world; it's crazy. with so many employees in one store, it never gets dull.

today i am benadryl-ed up and i feel really weird and i have to go to work and that's really uncool. but as much as i would love to sleep, i cannot do it. i gotta keep movin. slowly but surely, just the way greg is driving across these u. states.

***yawn***

29 May 2007

my sexy man

i am havin the baby of a wonderful man. i am so lovin him. he's leaving the j hole tomorrow to come to kentucky. although there are many reasons why i dont particularly want to go there, there is a HUGE reason i should: he really believes it is what's best for maya and the two of us.

this decision is being met with huge disapproval from every direction. my parents, particularly my mother, are wiggin out. bad. i mean, they may try to start up another custody fight, and i am NOT down for that. i cannot take that. but i cannot let them bully me into staying in memphis either.

i will be leaving my entire family. my friends. the people who love my daughter and have since the day she was born. all to be with greg, to take a chance, to start a life. i'm doing it voluntarily. i have to be positive that it's what's best for maya... that greg is going to be in it with me for the long haul. like... rest of my life long.

in other news... the season finale of "house" is on tonite. i love this show. i have become addicted.
oh, and i did a survey recently where i said i thought i would rock on "road rules" and i thought maybe i would be good on "trading spouses"... if i was married. i guess my life is a bit too tumultuous for me to be on there anyway. whatever.

i have not been feeling very well today. i feel spitty and gross. i have eaten almost an entire square package of saltines. one of em, not all four in the box. that would be an obscene amount of crackers. for some reason i have only felt like eating shitty stuff. i had a baked potato for lunch. i had fries for dinner. i just ate some mozzarella sticks. now i just want some freakin veggies or something.

i really need to get naked with my man. i mean.. this is gettin insane. ahhh! AAARUGH!!!

i quit smoking again today.

i also filed for lost title of my truck. wonder how long this is going to take?

duuuude!!! "hells kictchen" is returning! for some reason i really dug that show. you can tell i'm doing more than one thing right now eh? oh well.

who writes these and why do i care about answering them?

1. Do you prefer to be called sexy or beautiful?
i dunno. if its some perv, not sexy

2. What is your favorite nickname someone has made for you?
cole

3. If you get a custom made license plate, what would you want it to say?
lol. i dunno. i saw one at a rainbow gathering once that said "luvinu"! nice.

4. Do you prefer reading out loud or in your head?
in my head, although i am great at reading aloud

5. When your parents fight how nasty does it get?
jesus. it's wretched.

6. When's the last time you ate a chocolate chip muffin?
damn that sounds good.

7. What was your dream job when you were a child? Is it still the same?
farmer. i would like to do it, but not like i used to picture it... now i want to have my own land and work it. i'm such an effin hippie.

8. It's all about the third sequels these days. Which one are you most interested in?
shrek the third.

9. How often do you get your hair cut?
hardly ever, but then i recently hacked it all off.

10. How much are you willing to pay for a pair of jeans?
um, 20 bucks or so. if it was someone else's money, more. i usually get kicked down jeans. in fact, the only pair i have were my cousin's.

13. Do you believe life exists on other planets?
i don't disbelieve it.

14. If you won a million dollars, what would you do first?
oh man... so many things. pay off all my debt, woohoo! then start hookin it up! wow... just thinkin about it too much is makin me kinda super excited, so i'm stopping.

15. Which reality TV show could you picture yourself being on?
haha! um... ROAD RULES! i was made for that show ma'an!

18. What does love mean to you?
finding your soul's counterpart in another, in terms of a relationship. i think there can be more than one great match though, which trickifies things up. in terms of loving others, it means putting their happiness before yours. what sucks is when it happens to be that lots of the people you love have conflicting ideas of happiness.

19. How old were you when you found out Santa Claus wasn't real?
no idea.

21. What do you do to cure your hiccups?
um...usually try holding my breath or drinking water.. but i dont bother if it's not long-lasting...

22. Do you get distracted easily?
depends. like right now, it's time for "house" and i am going to stare at it.

23. What was your favorite backstreet boy when you were younger?
i didn't like them, ever.

24. Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish?
no. my sis was though. so was my cousin jojo. not on the same day. heard if you pee on a jellyfish sting it helps.

25. What food do you hate?
all things meat

26. When you procrastinate what do you usually do?
this and more this.

28. Is the weather nice outside?
it needs to fuckin RAIN!!!!

29. Where is your sister right now?
in wyoming.

30. If your life was a movie, what would the genre be?
superdrama.

31. Do you smoke at least one cigarette a day?
no

32. Are you any good at singing?
i dont think so, no. i love greg's voice though. love it when i catch him singin. i like to sing too, but i think i'm pretty tone deaf. teehee. so what? not like dylan has the greatest voice. love HIM...

34. Have you ever failed a grade?
no.

35. What's the weirdest thing you've seen in the past week?
a giant hershey kiss mobile driving down the street.

36. Do you know anybody who has committed suicide?
yes

39. Do you have x in your screenname?
nope

watchin law & order

1. What do you say most when you're trying not to curse?
:: sweet niblets! crapit! frick!

2. Do You Own An Ipod?
:: yes

3. What Person On Your Top 8 on Myspace Do You Talk To The Most?
:: amy, online...

4. What Time Is Your Alarm Clock Set To?
:: diff times diff days

5. Do You Want To Fall In Love?
:: i am in love

6. Do You Wear Flip-Flops When It's Cold?
:: sometimes, with toe socks

7. Would You Rather Take The Picture Or Be In The Picture?
:: whichever

8. What Was The Last Movie You Watched?
:: uh... i dunno

9. Do Any Of Your Friends Have Children?
:: yes

10. Has Anyone Ever Called You Lazy?
:: yeah

11. Do You Ever Take Medication To Help You Fall Asleep?
:: yep

12. Do You Prefer Regular Or Chocolate Milk?
:: chocolate, sometimes

13. Has Anyone Told You A Secret This Week?
:: uh... i dont think so

14. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks?
:: a few weeks ago

15. Can You Whistle?
:: yep, but only inhaling

16. Do You Have A Trampoline In Your Back Yard?
:: no

17. Do You Think People Talk About You Behind Your Back?
:: prolly at work

19. Did You Watch Cartoons As A Child?
:: yes. yes i did. do i still? yes. yes i do.

20. What Movie Do You Know Every Line To?
:: lots of em.

23. Do You Own Any Band T-Shirts?
:: gratefuldead ones

24. What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?
:: newmans own lowfat rasp walnut vinaigrette

25. Is anyone in love with you?
:: yes

26. Do You Do Your Own Dishes?
:: yeah, by putting them in the diswsasher

27. Ever Cry In Public?
:: uh huh, when emotion comes it spills out

30. Do you think you could ever be in love?
:: i am

31. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos?
:: not covered like the guys that go on maury that are like lizard men. but i am luvin my man and his sexy tats. junkman is not something i want him to get though.

32. What Did You Do Before This?
:: ate some cheesesticks. word of advice: tgi friday's home oven chzsticks aren't so very good

33. When Was The Last Time You Slept On The Floor?
:: uh... i'm not sure.

34. How Many Hours Of Sleep Do You Need To Function?
:: 7-9

35. Do you eat breakfast daily?
:: not really. nothing you would consider breakfast.

36. Are Your Days Full And Fast Paced?
:: christsakes yes.

37. What are you doing right now?
:: typing this, listening to law & order

38. Do you use sarcasm?
:: i'm afraid so much that it comes out as my natural tone

40. Are You Picky About Spelling And Grammar?
:: it makes me insane

41. Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
:: nope

41. Have you ever got beaten up?
:: no. that'd be terrible.

42. Do you like Rain or Sun?
:: it depends. they both have great points.

43. Do You Get Along Better With The Same Sex Or The Opposite?
:: both

44. Do you like mustard?
:: yes. wow, that was random

45. Do You Sleep On Your Side, Stomach, Or Back?
:: i flop around

46. Do You Watch The news?
:: not particularly

47. How Did You Get One Of Your Scars?
:: swimming in pickwick late barefoot, i cut two toes with glass

48. Who Was The Last Person To Make You Mad?
:: doesnt matter

49. Do you like anyone?
:: i like lots of people

50.Whats the last thing you purchased?
:: uh... nightgowns for maya, then wendy's

28 May 2007

30

30 unknown facts about myself:

1. Who ended your last relationship?
it went to shit. i think we both did.

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
i dunno

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
layin in bed thinking of greg. i had a dream about our baby.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
i was at walgreens

5. Are you any good at math?
algebra

6. What were you doing last night?
working.. then i went out with maya

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
nope

8. Have you ever burped in front of the opposite sex?
well yea

9. Do you know the words to your myspace song?
yes

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
water, dr pepper

12. What's one thing you wish to change about yourself?
my inability to say the right thing. ever.

13. What do you wish for?
i wish for a happy life with greg in lexington & for us to have a great family.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
yep

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
braces

16. What is outside your back door?
maya and some little girls playing.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
nope

18. Plans for tomorrow?
lots of errands.

19. Do you have a secret crush?
no

20. Do you keep in touch with your ex's?
only cause I have to

21. Do you dislike anyone right now?
yes

22. Something you are excited about?
seeing my sexy ass boyf... if he still is my man, i dunno.. i've not heard from him in 2 days.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
dont eat it

24. Are any of your great-grandparents alive?
no

25. Describe your key chain?
it has a yellow wyoming thing on it to remind me where i left my heart. and the remote to my car.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
i dunno.

28. What kind of jacket do you have on?
red baller jacket.

29. Do you have any nicknames?
nic, cole

30. Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?
nope.

27 May 2007

I'm a Freakin Loser

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
it's something about natural herbal medicine.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can...what do u find?
my granny.

3. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
zach & cody, my grandmother.

4. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
my phone... lookin to see if greg called or wrote, for like the 1000th time

5. Did you dream last night?
yes. i dont remember what though.

6. When did you last laugh?
at maya about something i am sure.

7. Seen anything weird lately?
a hershey kiss mobile, and a metlife blimp

8. What is the last film you saw?
uh, i tried watchin anchorman the other night but passed out.

9. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you do with it?
oh, wow... a lot of good things.

10. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i suck at love

11. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics what would it be?
the way we're messing up the environment

12. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
dude, if you have to be like those followers of yours to get in there, i aint goin. but i'm not down with hell either. what else you got? reincarnation?

13. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was your first thought?
i still look like shit.

14. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
i love you

15. What were you doing at midnight last night?
crying

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
sorry

17. Last furry thing you touched?
my i am loved teddy bear

18. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
only the ones i was prescribed

26. Do you like someone?
i'm desperately in love and always fuckin it up, so yeah.. but i don't know if he likes me any more.

27. The last song you listened to?
hide and seek by imogen heap. then i put it on my profile.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet? my granny is 86. i dont know why anyone would shoot her.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be? there is no one i want to punch.

30. IF YOU COULD BE DOING ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
greg. if he would let me..

23 May 2007

Brand New Changes

I am back on myspace after deleting my account. There's a bunch of things going on right now. I have fucked up and almost lost the best man I have ever been with. Now, the only way he believes it will work is if he goes to Kentucky. He doesn't feel comfortable coming to Memphis and never has... now there is absolutely no way. He's not going to come here, so way, no how. His mind is made up. So I have to either stay here and be alone, or I can work out some way to uproot my life and move to Kentucky. I don't have a choice anymore. If I don't go to KY, I am going to lose him. We don't have to stay there forever, but it's what he needs. It's the option I get. So... that is what I am going to do.

This is going to be a difficult transition, where Maya's concerned. I cannot just zip her out there like it's nothing. She doesn't know anyone there. I guess we're going to get a place, and bring her out to it, and come back and forth to Memphis over the summer.

Every thing is going to be alright, but I have to admit I am scared shitless. Am I remotely happy about moving? No. Am I glad I didn't lose Greg? Yes. But I am so miserable and afraid. Anything for love. Motto. Anything for love.

09 May 2007

Blogthing

hahaha, this is funny... considering i once saw a long line of chicks at bonnaroo for portapotties, while guys peed on the fence.. what did i do? being the commando-style mama i am, i pulled up my skirt w/o being scandalous and peed on the fence too. ruined my rope sandals.


In what alternate dimension would nic be most comfortable?

QuizGalaxy.com

In a dimension where...

Men have to wait in line to go to the bathroom


'In what alternate dimension would you be most comfortable?'
at
QuizGalaxy.com



...seriously. i had to throw them away immediately & went through the rest of the fest with no shoes.