I am back on myspace after deleting my account. There's a bunch of things going on right now. I have fucked up and almost lost the best man I have ever been with. Now, the only way he believes it will work is if he goes to Kentucky. He doesn't feel comfortable coming to Memphis and never has... now there is absolutely no way. He's not going to come here, so way, no how. His mind is made up. So I have to either stay here and be alone, or I can work out some way to uproot my life and move to Kentucky. I don't have a choice anymore. If I don't go to KY, I am going to lose him. We don't have to stay there forever, but it's what he needs. It's the option I get. So... that is what I am going to do.
This is going to be a difficult transition, where Maya's concerned. I cannot just zip her out there like it's nothing. She doesn't know anyone there. I guess we're going to get a place, and bring her out to it, and come back and forth to Memphis over the summer.
Every thing is going to be alright, but I have to admit I am scared shitless. Am I remotely happy about moving? No. Am I glad I didn't lose Greg? Yes. But I am so miserable and afraid. Anything for love. Motto. Anything for love.
