'The Years Will Seem Short But the Days go Slowly By...'

i am having a son.  he is set to arrive in the world on january 13th.  words for this escape me.  anyone who knows what i should name him, holla.  i think maybe jackson, cause i blame it on the tetons... heehee, or hayden, cause coach fox was one of the best men in my childhood.  he's getting bigger...  but has a while yet.  still i cannot believe i am halfway there.  when i look back it's gone fast.  during my time it goes slow, missing maya so much i can barely breathe, waiting for my job at lowe's to start, watching one of the six channels on my tv, luvin on greg cause he loves me...
i cannot think of life like i used to.  it's impossible to explain with these time restrictions on a library computer, but it's not the same.  i think for the first time i understand the concept of adulthood.  i have to say, it scares the shit outta me.  but i cannot stay the carefree soul i've been. 

Central KY Saturday Blues..

oh no, i am not dead.  i have just been without internet access.  it pisses me off to be alone in the sticks.  i watch so many hours of court shows in a day it's goddamn ridiculous.  16 weeks along now and feelin oh so like a stuffed pig.  dont care for it much.  greg is dandy, he's so sweet and loving and full of caring.  spending time with him keeps me goin.

i am in another custody fight.  apparently even though maya moved with me to fl and i have been the one caring for her, the protective custody order from 2004 sticks if i try to take her without my parents wanting me to.  upon callin my old lawyer, who had assured me it was all good to not wrap that old custody issue up in court, i discovered he had died the week prior.  great. 
now i am going to have to find a job and a way to come up with 3 grand for a new lawyer.  shitty.  and here i thought i could trust my parents.  fuckin fool me twice, shame on ME.  after this is over, i am not going to deal with them again.

that's about all there is, folks.  i miss travel and the road.  i dont miss home... sometimes you realize that the people who you think are closest, who really have your back, honestly don't care. 

one year of mount sterling, and i am OUT.  out i tell you.  there are only a handful of people i have met here that i like remotely.  i'm not here to make any friends. this is a transient place for me, i'm going to get my shit together and kindly take my leave.   finally got insurance, should be seeing a doc next week, and greg got a job at a cabinet manufacturer close to home.  i am reading a lot.  hope to get into school sometime soon.  tired of my days feeling wasted.

at least i am still breathing.  and i am enamored with my sweetie.  and determined to end this mess with maya.  i am determined it's going to be ok.  i know it will be.