You won't catch me around here...

my granny took it upon herself to unhook our internet.  yeah.  i have no internet service at home anymore.  honestly i dont know what to do with myself.  i must say, my iTunes library is looking incredibly organized.  that's rather amazing.  so if you are concerned about my total lack of time on myspace, i'm at home moping or watching something scary on the tube or crying.  i'm an emotional roller coaster and it ain't funny.
and yes, i am at the library.  again.  eww.  public computers.  blech.

Movin Back to Eastern Time...

like my sis's quote said, "seasons change, onward we flow".  i've turned in my two weeks at work (my last day shall be the 20th) and am moving to the lexington/georgetown area to be with my greggie-poo shortly thereafter.  i am probably transferring to a store there, but if not i am going to get a chill job with some air conditioning.  this decision is causing immesurable conflict with my mother and grandmother, who seem determined to make me feel like slime for moving away.  i went to ky though at the beginning of the week, saw my beautiful man, met some nice people, as well as greg's mom who is really sweet, and his lil bro who  is also mighty nice... and i dont think it's going to be a bad thing, really i don't.  i'm not jumping for joy over moving away from my family while being pregnant, but i know why greg wants us there and his reasons make sense, and i have to go if i want to be with him, which i DO... so, i wish people would just be happy for me and not criticize my life & my decisions. 
anyway, i think i may puke unless i eat so i'm gonna hop off the library computer and let someone else hack away at this shittily-moving pc.  my mac needs help, so i am chillin at the library & feeling gross thinking of how many other fingers have touched these keys.  ew. 
just wanted to post an update, cause my life is so damn awesomely edge-of-your-seat entertaining.
ps:  for all you movie goers, i dont know if it's cause i'm preggo, but "knocked up" sucks.  the plotline was all over the place, it had a lot of dumb irrelevent scenes, and i wish i had saved my money to see "1408" even though scary movies give me mad nightmares.  the pink eye stuff was just gross.  the stoners were over-exaggerated; i am glad i dont know anyone like them.  and wow, she only puked twice and didn't crave anything weird and looked gorgeous working at e! the whole time.  what a load of crap. 
ok, now i really might puke..

damn. greg is never waking up.

Name 7 things in your bag:

1. wallet
2. melted crayon
3. journal
4. pills
5. pen
6. lancets
7. receipts

Name 6 things you do when you're really stressed:
(not all apply during pregnancy)
1. cut off all my hair
2. smoke
3. shut down
4. drink
5. get nauseous
6. take a pill

Name 5 favorite fruits:

1. orange
2. watermelon
3. banana
4. strawberry
5. lime

Name 4 names you go by:

1. nicole
2. nic
3. mom
4. coley

Name 3 things you are wearing right now:

1. nose ring
2. velour pants
3. gregs shirt


What are you thinking about right now?
why the crud greg wont wake up

Where is your phone?
in my car

Where do you sleep?
couch, maya's bed, my bed.... right now, here.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
greg's friend got it for him in jackson

Where did you get the pants/skirt/shorts you're wearing?
old navy

What was the last thing you ate?
brownie, last nite

What kind of cell phone service do you have?
cricket

What is the closest item near you that is blue?
blanket

What is the last movie you watched?
dunno.. watched the sopranos last nite

When did you last feel a tree with your bare hands?
yesterday in steve's front yard

The Strange Eleven - Eleven odd facts about yourself:

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
two days ago

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
sleeping

3. Do you know the words to the song on your My Space page?
some of em. i heard the guy on house & loved it

4. How many different beverages have you drank today?
just a few gulps o water

5. What's one thing you wish to change about yourself?
lose some weight

6. What do you wish for?
sane family, lotsa money

7. When was the last time you got really hurt?
two summers ago

8. Any plans for Friday night?
no

9. Something you are excited about?
getting my ass to ky

10. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
not vegetarian- dont eat it

11. Describe your key chains?
keys and wyoming keychain & car bleepy locking thing

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Do you know anyone in prison?
nope

2. Have you ever logged onto a bf/gf/crush's MySpace page?
with permission

3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
few days ago

5. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
dont think so

6. Name someone you miss:
amy

7. Are you named after a grandparent?
yeah

9. Would you rather be a girl or a guy?
i like being a girl i guess

10. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
um..

11. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
love

12. Have you ever had sex in church?
naw

13. Are you gay?
no

14. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
older

15. What's your favorite junk food?
too many to name...lol

16. Do you have a porn collection?
nope

17. Is your birthday on a holiday?
inauguration day, but i dont think its a holiday

18. Are you old enough to vote?
duh

19. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
no

20. Are you a vegetarian?
yep

21. Do you worry about global warming?
i do what i can, and worry when it crosses my mind.

22. Do you like Polar BEARS?
i've never met one.

23. What song do you want played at your funeral?
how bout i dont wanna die so lets not think bout it

24. Did you lose your virginity to your neighbor?
nope

25. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
when i was a child

26. Do you wear your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes?
all the time

27. Are you taller than 5'6"?
i'm like 5'2" & 1/2

need ta tweeze my brows

every once in a while, i have an "alf" memory from an episonde where someone is saying something about having their toilet in their shower in their rv, and alf goes "so do we!" and everyone looks at him all funny & he's like "oh, like youve never done it". it was funny cuz it's true. dare you to tell me you've never peed in your shower.


Current mood: sickish

Current music: i'm about to turn on mazzy star or azure ray, not sure

Current taste: water & toothpaste

Current hair: wet & cold

Current clothes: greg's shirt & velour lime green pants (yeah, i roll like dat)

Current annoyance: cigarette smoke

Current smell: the wift of dank from upstairs

Current thing I should be doing: i should have gone to work today. i may have lost my job...

Current windows open: not in here

Current desktop picture: tetons

Current favorite band: the shins (but i dont like their new cd :( )

Current book: just my journal really

Current cd in stereo: morphine

Current crush: greggie poo

Current favorite celeb: uh, er... i dunno

[ DO YOU.. ]
Smoke?: quit tonite, even though greg didnt

Do drugs?: yeah i smoke my preggo ass some crack rocks every day...

Have a dream that keeps coming back?: keep dreamin bout babies.

Remember your first love?: lol yeah. funny now.

Still love him/her?: not at all. but i do love his mom. he's in his second marriage (yay chris)

Read the newspaper?: jobs & classifieds

Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yes

Believe in miracles?:i dunno

Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yep

Consider yourself tolerant of others?:not all others

Consider love a mistake?: risky business, but never a mistake

Like the taste of alcohol?: omfg i would kill for it, but not my baby, so i will have ta wait...

Have a favorite candy?: actually, no

Believe in astrology?: to a degree

Believe in magic?: haha no

Believe in god?: i dont think whatever it is if there is anything is nameable

Have any pets: beta named dinner

Go to or plan to go to college: yes

Have any piercings?:6

Have any tattoos?: 9

Hate yourself: nope

Have an obsession?: not really

Have a secret crush?: i don't make it secret

Have a best friend?: more than one

Wish on stars?: not anymore

[ LOVE LIFE ]
Ever been in love?: am now
Do you believe in love at first sight?: it's lust
Do you believe in "the one?": i think there are many possibilities, you decide on your one
Describe your ideal significant other: greg

[ETC]
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?:dont think so
Have you ever been intoxicated?: wee tad
Have you ever been caught "doing something?": yes...
Are you a tease?: that's stupid
Shy to make the first move?: nope

[ APPEARANCE ]
you know what i look like.

[ LAST THING.. ]
Bought: dr p
Ate & Drank: dr p & at greg's mom's
Read: this
Watched on TV: dog the bounty hunter

[ EITHER OR.. ]
beer or cider: bitch beer
drinks or shots: either...depending
cats or dogs: cats
single or taken: taken ha
pen or pencil: pen
gloves or mittens: mittengloves
food or candy: food
cassette or cd: cd
coke or pepsi: dr p

shitty day

tomorrow my sched says 8pm-5am. i am assuming this is incorrect. there's no one else sched. in the garden center at those times and i cannot imagine being out there all alone all night. i'm sure my mgr was mistaken. i think he got the am & pm mixed up. i hope.

greggypoo is east of st. louis, just in case anyone needed an update on his travels. my sugar britches is truckin it and determined to get to where he's going. sunday afternoon when i get off work i am going to lexington to see him and take off his clothes and luv on him. also i need to check out this lexington place, as i am going to end up moving there... i absolutely cannot wait to hold his hand and feel his sweet kisses and be scooped up in his big ol hugz. i know his trip's been so long and tiring. it has a csny song streaming in my head which i cannot get out..

"You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you."

i'm sure he's got so much going on in his mind with all of those roads he's been going down alone. i love him so much. i wonder what's on his mind.

in other news:
i havent had my stupid antidepressent in two days and it's been messin with my head bad. i feel weird. got it tonite, but it's been affecting my brain. i havent been diggin it.

being as smally pregnant as i am, i am sure chunkin up. greg's baby likes food as much as he does. especially milkshakes. i ate two hard boiled eggs last nite and saltines with cheddar cheese on them. my food intake has gotten crazy. but, i am not showin from baby inside. it's all junk in the tummy & trunk. niiiice. i hadnt had a milkshake in years. in the past week or two i've had 3. frick!

my granny noticed my tubbiness and asked if i was preggers and i said yes and i have been catchin hell for it all effin day. i've been called stupid, an idiot, and dumb. dumb was the last insult & in my frustration and haste i screamed back "youre dumb!" feel guilty as hell for that one. but SHIT how mean can an old woman be? pretty fuckin mean, folks. still i need to apologize. but she was telling me how she cannot believe i 'got in trouble' and was asking me when i am getting married. ugh. i dont know, man. i don't know. i'm stressin it.

this isnt even everything. i dont know. i need to go to bed. i love my daughter, boyfriend, baby, and whoever may have made it through this whole blog. also, if i have to spit through this whole pregnancy i will cry, cry cry.

greg & amy

1) Who is he ?
Gregory Ray Scarberry

2) Do You Trust him?
Yes with my heart and my little girl, and to a great father to his baby... which i happen to be carrying.

3) When was the last time you talked to him?
bout an hour ago

4) Does he have a girlfriend?
that would be me.

5) Is he one of your friends?
that's the dumbest question. is the author of this smokin crack?

6) Where does he live?
currently at the moment without residence. but he will be staying with a friend in kentucky until we have enough money for a place.

7) Is he older than you?
he's 31; i'm 26. i love it when he calls me young lady

8) Would you do anything for him?
I'm havin his kid. What else can i do besides love him for the rest of his life & be sooo good to him?

9) Do you have a nickname for him?
i do, a few. my fave is papabear. he's my sweet huggy papabear.

10) How long have you known him?
Couplea lifetimes I spose.

11) Do you think he will repost this?
hell no. he aint down wit da myspace bloggin shite.

--------HER---------
1) Who is she?
old old old old friend

2) Do you trust her?
Yes

3) When's the last time you talked to her?
a while ago; she calls but i suck at phone convos. i should hit her up

4) Does she have a boyfriend?
i believe that's an iffy subject right now.

5) Is she one of your friends?
Again, with the stupid fuckin questions..

6) Where does she live?
back home for the moment, marysville washington

7) Is she older than you?
i think we're the same age.

8) Are you related to her?
nope

9) Would you do anything for her?
why of course... dont get any crazy ideas amy

10) Do you have a nickname for her?
lol no

11) How long have you known her?
since 5th or 6th grade.

12) Do you think she will repost this?
probrobly so... cant help it.

Old Myspace Survey

1. Who's #1 on your top 8?
my man

2. What is your favorite possession?
uh... my box full of my journals & maya's box too. & my pictures

3. Do you own a gun?
i think i got my daughter & her friend water guns recently. like you would want me to have a real gun, nigga plz

4. If you could tell your last X something what would you say?
hmm. i am not sure.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
why?

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
i think they're better when they're veggie hot dogs. better yet, corndogs. made out of tvp, it's still random shit and better for you

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
ohh... i guess the alvin & the chipmunks one w/ wanting the hulahoop. it's the first one that came to mind.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
dr pepper

9. Can you do push ups?
lol doubt it

10. Is your bathroom clean?
uh.. not super dirty!

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
um. i had a cool leather bracelet. now i dont. that was my fave.

12. Do you take painkillers?
only to kill pain. especially not while i'm preggers.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
damn sure not my looks. must be my amazing ass charisma.

14. Do you have A.D.D.? [Attention Deficit Disorder]
i think everyone does and it's not a disorder.

15.Whats your name?
if you're readin this and dont know my name, i will be sad.

16. Middle Name?
nicole

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment
1. g is in kansas
2. i need to get laid
3. court tv is annoying

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought today?
ciggies, lighter, tellini's

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1 water
2. dr pepper
3. apparently very recently, milkshakes

22. Current worry?
money and being effin preggo while my boyf is moving to ky and not HERE. jesus.

23. Current hate?
aint no time to hate

24. Favorite place to be?
carefree state of mind

25. How did you bring in the New Year?
i dont remember. were you there?

26. Where would you like to go?
i would like to be with g right now

27. Do you own slippers?
uh... i think i have some somewhere. they're blue, but where are they?

28. What shirt are you wearing?
trey's polo tshirt

30. Favorite color(s)?
uh, right at this second, sage green

31. Would you be a pirate?
i am a pirate

32. Are you gay?
no, i'm tired

33. Do you sing in the shower?
my showers dont even last long enough for singin. i'm too preoccupied with gettin clean and out

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
the things in the shadows.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
i dont have on pants with pockets

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
strawberry shortcake ones at granny's

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
uh... prolly those third degree burns from closing the boullion station at the melting pot. i shoulda fuckin sued.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
traci, when she's pissed. her opinions get very heard.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
tully. if he's still my friend.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
everyone loves this nic

44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
of course.

45. What is your favorite book?
a tree grows in brooklyn was the first thing that came to mind, then princess bride

46. What is your favorite candy?
omfg those choc covered dinstuhls strawberries, or godiva or whatever they have in the mall. i havent had those since j bought some for t for valentine's. that was ages ago.

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
i really havent thought about it. not the trad. wedding songs though.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
do you realize by the flaming lips

49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
talking to g.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
dammit i never sleep in anymore.

Dawn's Fault

Most people can't live without their cell phone ... so here's a survey about it.


Did you grab it? lol. it's in my lap.

1. What color?
black

2. Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?
melanie

3. Who's the last person you called?
greg

4. Who was your last missed call from?
parents

5.Who is the second person that comes up under A?
a helton, this diabetes nutritionist

6. Who's speed dial 2?
fuck if i know

7. Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?
jeptha

8. Who was your last received call from?
g-thang

9. Who's speed dial number 4?
i dont use that

10. What is your background?
a leaf. and the time and date and some little ditty that says "live fully"

11. How many text messages are currently in your inbox?
20- i emptied it a couplea hrs ago.

12. Who's speed dial #1?
dude!! how do you work that?

13. What's the 5th message say in your inbox?
at work?

14. Who is the 3rd person that comes up under B?
bill hannah towing

15. Who was your last text message from?
kimi

16. Name every person you have text messages from in your inbox:
jon, lauren, kimi&ali, g-thang, traci

17. Most called?
g-thang greggie poo.

18. Who is the ninth person on your missed call?
lauren

19. What does the 6th message in your outbox say?
it's personal.

20. Who is the first name in your phonebook?
aaron

21. Who is the last name in your phonebook?
zach shoe- although i never call him.

22. Do you have a camera phone?
nah, i did but when i had to get a new one, i gave up

23. Who is the last person under G?
G-thang baby. my sugar and baby daddy. ah my one n only.

24. What does your first text message in your inbox say?
workin hard or hardly workin haha

25. Who is the third person under K?
kimi&ali

that's it? i wanna do more.