A really confusing happenstance with "the" ex...
One of the most bizarre nights of my life (followed by being let go from my job)...
Being a suddenly attractive object of affection from more than one person, when feeling more unsure of myself than ever...
Telling my beloved only and younger sister goodbye as she departs to live in another state with her fiance, far away from me and our memories...
It's been too difficult for me to think straight enough to write a proper entry. My thoughts are mashed, as if I'm dreaming, and it's honestly becoming difficult to discern the difference between asleep and awake. Incoherence and over-thinking cloud my mind, making me feel smothered, like I'm wrapped in a warm, damp sheet. It feels dark and humid, and I cannot tell which way gravity is pulling me. My head spins when I try to string together thoughts, words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs. It's become overwhelming, more of a task than a pleasantry. But after all, if I stop writing, if I stop pounding these keys and attempt to explain myself, won't I sink further into what feels like Depression's firm grip? Is it madness, or am I one of the only sane ones left? From one instance to another, does the navigational point change, do the sane and not switch places? Are we dashing back and forth in a frenzied, terrifying rendition of Red Rover, set on a bleak field, monstrous characters in masks playing the game in lieu of school children?
I digress. And I need sleep. My eyes burn from tears. Living can be exhausting, even without much physical activity. I would imagine my mind is in much better shape than my body, though very distressed.
