Where have I ended up as of now? In Missoula, MT since Xmas. Now past my due date, I am both eager to meet my son & terrified of having another baby. I live in a trailer, an old leaky single-wide piece of shit (for lack of a better term) with 3 broken out windows, exposed sub-flooring, a sinkless bathroom, an old marijuana grow room, a leaky sewage problem, a very unmotivated boyfriend, and (since the last few days) a neighbor who I guess has been offered a place to stay by my significant other now that he & his girlfriend have parted ways.
I've been working a job at a gas station, graveyard shifts, but my pregnancy finally sent me on early maternity leave 3/17. I am having a really difficult time with this one, even though he's been easiest on me with pregnancy, he's been the most difficult in other ways & I am really shocked to find myself bringing a fourth child into the world- as well as disappointed by the circumstances.
I thought my significant other would be gainfully employed by now but such is not the case & although I won't say he's done nothing in regards to our relationship, I will confess that in terms of obtaining employment there has been nothing but the occasional attempt at a scam, and those have heretofore only been a nuisance and attributed to me as well, leaving me in potential trouble for his oh-so-clever misdeeds.
I honestly don't know what to do. Today is the celebration of Easter, of rebirth... Maybe something will change. Something needs to happen!
