here's what's going on.
greg got me a 1/3 carat diamond ring on a
white gold band. it's too big but we're going to fix that. it's the
nicest piece of jewelry i've ever had, and he gave it to me just when i
was beginning to think i was never going to measure up to his
expectations. i guess i am doing something right! i asked if it was an
engagement ring and he said it was a promise ring, so i asked if when
he proposed was i going to get another ring and he said, "oh no". so
the next day i was buggin him about the actual significance of said
ring, and he said "let me put it this way: will you marry me?" and
laughing i said, "it so doesn't work that way! you cannot ask me to
marry you b/c i am nagging!" and he said (in a sweet lil voice):
"coley, please marry me... someday i don't know when but please?" and i
smiled and said "ok". so that's how that went. take it for what you
like. i'm happy about it, and it's still pretty undefined to me.
we
have put down a deposit on a townhouse in lexington. it's a 2 bedroom,
but both bedrooms are like 14'x15' so there is plenty of room for a
certain 7 year old girl as well as a small baby. it's 1250 sq ft.
there's a pool and fitness room on the premises. i like that we have a
washer/dryer hookup. there's a half bath downstairs, a big combined
living/dining room, kitchen with no dishwasher (but i've lived a year
without one, and it's not bad). there's a patio with the balcony on top
of it. upstairs the bedrooms are next door to one another and the
balcony stretches from one bedroom to the next, which i love. the
bathroom is super tiny; you shower and have the potty right next to each
other in a galley type area that's quite tiny. however, the sink is in
a more open area and it makes the bathroom seem quite large where it's
important. there's tons of storage in this place too. all for the fair
price of $827/month, which includes electric, gas & water. this
alone makes it totally worth it. if you add the fitness area and
subtract a monthly ymca membership, plus the huge amount of money we
spend in gas (not to mention the wear it's put on my car), we're coming
out ahead. yes, ahead.
the property is quite close to a disc
golf course too that stretches through forest trails. there's a nice
running trail too and lots of family stuff. whole foods is only a 5
minute drive. greg will make it to work in 10 minutes instead of 45. i
have 3 lowe's options to transfer to, one less than 10 minutes away.
the school district rates high, which is something very important to me.
i'll be close to ethnic food, book stores, and starbucks.
there's a baby-sitter i'm getting to know only a street up from our
neighborhood. i know at 827 one would think we'd be struggling, but we
will be able to save money (small amounts at a time) which is great.
what else? i'm in the process of enrolling in school for the fall
semester. i'm only going to bluegrass community college but it's a
start. i want to get my basics done there and then transfer to uk. i
think i'm going to do environmental science. my whole life i've been a
treehugger and i want to go into work that will make it possible for me
to devote my career to helping our mama earth. i'd like to work in
national parks. no, i don't have visions of dollar signs dancing in my
brain, but i plan on being comfortable and working in the best places in
the country (someday the world). it's awesome of greg to support me in
this endeavor.
on the parental front, my parents spoke to me
before i had surgery & promised to bring maya to see me. they
decided after i came out ok to push it back. they're thinking monday,
which is tomorrow, and greg and i both have to go back to work. am i
actually looking for them to arrive? no. do i think they'll make it
before maya returns to school? not really. but as soon as i'm done
with this moving mess i should be able to go get her. i hope.
generally speaking i'm ok. i still don't feel my best but i'm a bit
sore from surgery. ow. after i went to memphis and returned home, i've
decided it is not in my best interest to drink, like, ever. it's
nothing but trouble for me. i had places to stay, rides home, and
everyone backed out on me. still, it was ultimately my bad choice to go
out at all. i know it was a stressful time with my granny and
everything but that is no excuse to get intoxicated. i have issues and
none of them are helped by drinking. obviously i can't do it at all
since i cannot do it in moderation. i feel better, healthier, since i
have decided not to partake. i've also been shown in great mental
detail how messed up i was when i was a partier. this became largely
apparent just by going out the couple of times i did in memphis.
first of all, the hangover i suffered after my first night out was
brutal. i used to drink like that everyday, and i thought being a
mccann i would be able to handle it like a champ. not only was i
totally wrong, but i was super-concerned this was a daily part of my
existence. i was an all-out alcoholic.
also, even though i said
i'd never drink again in front of maya, i went to my dear meredith's
house and got pretty schwilly on some wine. even if maya didn't
directly see me drinking, she's not stupid and no doubt knew.
when i got back to ky from that trip i got into a horrible argument with
greg about it. he said some things about it that was incredibly harsh.
it made me feel like a terrible person. i thought he was being hard
on me, overly harsh, and i felt like breaking down for a few days. i
was almost scared. after some intense, brutal soul searching... i
realized that, while very harshly spoken, everything greg had said was
right. also, his demands for my normalcy no longer seemed like lofty
ambitions, but became things i realized had to be true for me to exist
in every day life. if i really want to make it, i have to grow up,
become responsible.
hmm. that's it for now. there's a family
reunion today. i'm not remotely related to anyone in the
aforementioned, but i am obligated to go and will show off my son
gladly.
