this is just a buncha bitching and moaning.
i woke up today,
after sleeping through the alarm repeatedly, 6 minutes before having to
be at lowe's. grumble. i'd been having a nightmare about haden and
daycare... but i digress. ok, another morning. where's my crap?
clothes, shoes, leftover mussumun curry, purse, keys, shit i'm late,
stumble stumble, open door, step out into the world. get to truck to
find, oopsie, i got the keys with the truck door key and the extra car
keys. no ignition key. no key to get back in the house. well, hell.
call
greg's mom, she has an extra key! no answer. damnation. maybe kari
is in town or at work, i know she'll pick a chica up. no such luck,
sorry for that early morning call. maybe someone at work can take a
break and come grab me up. i call and laura's there alone. no go. so i
transfer to andi just b/c i like to complain to her about my not so
swell actions. she says jason's the mgr... the h.n.i.c., same one i had
to call yesterday and report that i wasn't coming in (my left eye was
all hivey and i looked like an abuse victimn).. i better him i'm going
to be freakin late. i talk to him and feel like a total jackass at this
point.
well, should i call my landlord to let me into my
house? or should i just climb into the truck and sit there with my
thumb up my arse waiting to see what's going to happen? oh, look.. my
shirt's on inside out. that's super. lemme fix that right quick
like... word. get to work? ...i could walk. it's only, what, an 8
minute drive? that sounds feasible. no. bad idea. no bueno. i'm
walking down a curvy ass country road and where my former self woulda
stuck out my thumb and made it into town lickity-split, i begin to hear
greg's voice of reason in my mind: "what the fuck are you doing?
someone could kill you and no one would even hear you scream! people
are not all good! you can't just trust everyone, there's some serious
psychos out there!" i think of what i have to defend myself with: some
leftover tofu & veggie refrigerated thai leftovers. take THAT,
psychotic murdering passerby. suddenly i realize the walk is actually
about 5 miles. well, it may be a bit less, i don't really know. i
happened to be out of bottled water at home and it's already muggy as
all get out and i'm already stinking and i've been truckin along what, 8
minutes, maybe? this is ridiculous. this was not a good plan.
ugh,
also... i don't feel so hot. i can't breathe outta one side of my
nose. oh, wait, haden's sick. fever=contagious. i've been holding and
loving on my sick baby for days. but he only had itty bitty baby
germs. well, apparently those can make you sick too. ugh. i really
don't feel so hot.
greg's mom calls and says she was in the
shower and she's coming to bring me keys. sighing and wheezing and
sweaty i turn and walk home. i sit for a few minutes, wondering what's
wrong with me. kim comes and let's me in the house. i'm so glad we got
her those keys made (yeah, in nov/dec i locked my pregnant self out of
my truck at a gas station, so great).
ok, nic, i say. let's try
this again. this time i rob my son's piggy bank for some change; i need
coffee. i leave the house with the right keys. i forget the change.
super fantastic. i re-enter the house to get change and lock myself out
when i leave again. ok, i didn't lock myself out again, but that
woulda been funny shit.
tralala, let's try this again. pull out
of the subdivision... oh! a baby raccoon in the street! aw, look at
the lil thing, it must be so scared! i stop, in the middle of the road,
and get out. it walks up to me all shivery and cold, then realizes i'm
a person and starts making scared lil hissy noises. i begin to think
about the baby birds i tried to bring home recently and think about
greg's voice of reason again, and instead of attempting a rescue, i take
a legal pad and scooch him back into the grass where he stumbles off
towards a field. good enough for today. i drive to the coffee place,
get a blended coffee treat, and proceed to my job. wahoo.
i'm
making signage and have both hands not only full, but balancing the
nonsell log on my arms, when one of the two department phones in my back
pockets rings. and keeps ringing. crap. i have outside lawn and
garden, as well as seasonal, both jacketed so i cannot see the label
telling my extension. i finally throw the signs and paperwork and
clipboard into the coleus, fumble for my ringing and vibrating right
butt pocket, and grab the phone. shot in the dark, i answer it "outside
lawn and garden, this is nicole, how can i help you?" it's the
aforementioned h.n.i.c. first he tells me he called seasonal's phone.
embarrassed i repeat my greeting only with seasonal replacing the dept
name. my bad sir, i have two phones, i didn't know which was which...
then he chastises me for not answering in 5 rings. i explain what i'm
doing and he says he coulda been a customer and how could i not get the
phone in five rings? that's a lot of rings! the CUSTOMER doesn't care
what i'm doing! i have to answer it in 5 RINGS! i want to say, "well
shit, i guess next time i'll stop in my damn tracks and drop all that
i'm carrying on the ground and do whatever it takes to GET that
phone"... but instead i say, "i'm so sorry, you're right, that's my
fault!" at this point i am hating everyone. i want to tell whoever to
shove it and roll out.
but no. i gotta eat. and pay bills.
so i decide to go get water, since i didn't bring in any. aquafina in
the break room, mmmm. sold out? wtf? how can we sell out of water?
dasani, then, in the other machine. are you fucking KIDDING me we don't
have any of that either. nice. fine, that's fine. it's only
80-something degrees and i'm totally needing some h2o. luckily, i found
some leftover bottles from the potluck and fill up the cooler.
something goes ok.
all of this by 10am. lunch rolls around and i
want some freakin unhealthy, scrumptous hot n ready cheese pizza from
little caesar's. yeah, there's a great selection of food in mt
sterling. is my pizza hot and ready? NO. they don't have any cheese.
i say, "ok, i'll wait, how long will it be for my hot n READY?" "7 1/2
minutes". "swell!" when i got it into the truck it seemed worth the
wait, but i was hungry. really hungry. so i grab a slice while
maneuvering through the parking lot. shit! it may not have been ready,
but it's HOT! melty cheese slides off the slice and onto my lap. my
bottom lip gets a mean lil burn. that was so intelligent.
ugh. i
need to talk to g. he'll tell me it's all going to be ok. where's my
cell phone? i know i didn't take my purse in to work... and it wasn't
in my pockets when i was outside.. but i thought it was? nah, had to
have left it in the purse. so i start digging. uh-oh. i have no idea
where that motherfucker is. and i still don't.
it rained on and
off repeatedly. just last night i was missing fl so much... but not
b/c of the occasional 10 minute downpour (i miss the people i love).
why did the stupid rain follow me but not the good people? every time
the sun comes back out it gets muggier. at this point the old spice has
ceased to work and my pits are noticeably stinky. i can totally smell
myself. that's awesome. i fucking hate the dirty south. give me dry
heat any day... or better yet, let's go back to wyoming and live
happily ever after. my sister said it was snowing when i talked to her
one day in june. i can enjoy global warming in my senior years.
the
day creeeeeeeeeeeped by. i stayed an hour (ok, two) late. i had to; i
have to miss a lot this week for surgery! what a shitty day. my cold
is worse. i don't know where greg and haden are but i have seriously
lost my cell phone (fuckin baby raccoon prolly has it). i still smell
but i had to gripe this one out. it's not a bad day on the grand scheme
of things, really. no one i love died; i'm still kickin it too. i
didn't get seriously injured...
but i am going to take my
congested self to the shower, rinse off, and climb into bed for
america's most wanted. maybe i'll help catch a fugitive. big plans,
huh? yeah i'm cool like that. nyquil anyone? and vicks? yes please!
