i went to memphis for mt girl's birthday. the experience was... interesting. let's just say i returned to my home with a much improved view of my life. i love my boyfriend very much. my life is uncomplicated and does not suck. there's no drama here. we may not have a lot, or a lot of money, but i am in a better place, and i am striving for better things. honestly i no longer see myself moving to memphis again unless there is some sort of catastrophe. my feelings of homesickness on my trip were for my quiet little home with the man i hope to marry and my stinky kitty.
of course, seeing my daughter was amazing, but right now, she really does seem happy where she is. although my parents are high-stress, high-drama, high-argument people, my bug is taken care of, happy, spoiled to a degree (but still as sweet as pie). she was the absolute highlight of my trip, and remains my angel. since i have come back to ky i have called and talked to her almost daily, only missing 2 nights so far. my relationship with my parents is slowly improving.
life is changing in my mind, but i am tentatively optimistic. i keep cutting off my hair b/c i am going to grow it out grey. i weigh more than i ever have, am terribly pregnantly uncomfortable, and eager to have this kid but terrified at the same time. also i am still trucking along at lowe's although it may kill me; the job is actually not bad and my coworkers are all pretty nice. i am craving meat like i haven't in years but even though i have allowed myself some gelatin-containing yummies, i still haven't chewed down any animal flesh.
thats it.
